Okay, so now I am up a total of 5 pounds. Ugh!  It's the water weight I expected back plus I have my period so it's all good.  The best news is that I am still wearing Size 2 pants - yeah!

I have to reign in my eating, though.  Even though I am eating pretty healthy, I was in a really good habit of drinking herbal tea at night on the cleanse and now I find I am still snacking on food at 10 p.m.  Not a good habit to get back into!

I have been finding a lot of raw food recipes.  I have another potluck dinner at my place on Saturday so I am going to make a Banana Coconut Raw pie and also some nut butter/pates.

I haven't been back to exercising :( and I need to get my ass into the gym pronto!! lol!

That's it for now. :)

Hi,

Things are going very well since the cleanse.

I have been transitiioning back to more than just raw foods.  I had popcorm the other night and yesterday I had dairy-free pizza.  I have put on 2 lbs (now 129) but know that this is due to water gain and I am 'okay' with that!

I still have lots of energy and am being aware of portion sizes. 

Tonight I am having friends over for a BBQ and I am grilling salmon, tilapia and making some grain & veggie side dishes, grilled asparagus and a big fresh salad with lots of greens!!!  SHould be lots of fun!

Less is more! 

Today is Day 9 - wow!  I thought I would be counting down the hours by now but the time really is scooting by and I haven't felt like I wanted to quit this cleanse. :)

I was getting anxious for a bit about transitioning back to regular foods. I don't want to go back to bingeing on junk.  I have a binge issue and I am very easily triggered and prone to emotional eating.  I have an addition, I know, but now I am realizing that the addiction is more related to certain foods, not solely the habit of bingeing.  Well, I guess that's the same with most bingers.  You get that sugar in your system and you just clamor back for more.  That's why they say sugar is a drug.  It's a nasty, evil one and I am taking it seriously.

I will transition into raw foods slowly and aim to keep the raw food lifestyle 75% of the time.

Here are the foods I know do not agree with my body:

- Refined sugar (no kidding!)
- Wheat and wheat gluten (possibly not all glutens)
- Dairy (back to soy is okay with me)
- Chemicals and preservatives in foods (need to be very vigilant about this one)

I have been feeling really great - lots of energy!  The detox tea and SWF are doing their thing.;) Yesterday (Day 8), I felt constipated and bloated in the morning.  I must have been full of shit because after the SWF, there was some solid 'matter' being expelled. (ugh!)  Anyway, I was a pound lighter this morning. :)

I am currently 130 lbs.  That's a 7 lb. weight loss over 8 days!

Can I get below 130?  My goal would be 125 pounds but I'm not sure how much longer my friend wants to
continue.  I will push for 5 more days but settle for 3.

Inches lost:

Bust:    - 1      Waist:    - 3      Hips:      - 3

My clothes are loose (I am size 3-4 now).  My butt and hips need some work so I will focus on legs at the gym and squat, lunge, squat and lunge!!!

The journey continues ...... :)

It's Sunday morning and Day 7 of the Master Cleanse.  I have been feeling pretty good and not as horrendous as I might have expected to feel not having food for this long.

It's seems easier in some respects because my mind and body have switched to auto-pilot.  What is starting to get to me is the boredom and repetition.  I do miss the ritual of preparing foods.  I love to cook and not having that in my life makes it seem a little empty.  On the plus side, I don't have choices to make about what to prepare nor do I have to spend time and money shopping for and preparing meals.

I will look forward to getting back to preparing and digesting food - healthy food that is!  I really have no desire to go back to eatng highly processed foods such as chips, pizza, and any other heavy, highly staurated fatty  and fast foods.

I am still debating whether to go beyond 10 days.  I figure, well, I've already gotten through the worst of the detox and adjustment, I might as well continue on.  Yet, I wonder what the next 3 days will bring.  Will I become resentful and be turned off by this and really just want to eat food?  I don't think so.  My friend who is doing the cleanse with me and I have talked about going to 15 days.  I would totally support that but I think he is getting pretty hungry and really missing food! :)

I went for a bike ride Friday night, just a leisurely one, for an hour.  I was pretty tired afterwards.  I even went to my favourite sushi restaurant with my brother that night and wasn't tempted one bit! (or bite, I should say! :)

Yesterday I worked 7 hour at a store.  I was on  my  feet all day but kept drinking water and lemonade as needed.  After that I went for a 45 minute walk and by then I was tired!  I slept pretty well last night expect that for the past 3 nights I seem to wake up around 4 -5 a.m. with cramps (from the lax tea) and have to go to the bathroom.  I still do the SWF each morning and my body has accepted this pattern and is following through with what this plan is all about.

I am definitley leaner and my skin has never been so clear nor soft! :)

Weight Change: -1 (now 131 lbs)
Total Weight Change:  6 lbs loss

Wow!  This is feeling really great now!

I don't have any aches, pains at all today.  Well, my throat is still a bit irritated but the joints feel fine.

Yesterday I had more energy than Day 3 and today I woke up early (yes, early!) and I was alert and felt well-rested.

I really love the SWF in the mornings because it helps immediately.  Sure, it's a nasty stuff to drink but it just wipes out any sludge that the lemonade mixture has been able to loosen.

I had many BMs yesterday.  Particularly, around 4 p.m..  I was having a few eliminations at a time.  It was a good indicator that this program is working for my body.  Additionally, I was drinking more water and that certainly helped move things along.

Today I had the Bentonite clay & flaxseed a 1/2 hour before the SWF as I did yesterday.  I have been reading contradictory things about doing it with the MC.  It says that the clay will pull the nutrients from the juice, making one more dehydrated and constipated.  I will cease doing that from now on.

Skin:  clearing up each day - feels really soft and emollient.

Tongue:  still pasty white but breath not so bad.

Sleep:  still a bit restless at night but I don't think I require as much sleep during this phase.

Aches:  NONE! :)

Weight Change: -2 (132 lbs. now)

Total Weight Loss: 5 lbs

I can't wait to get below 130 lbs.  The last time I weighted below 130 was June 2005. 

Ciao!

I made it through Day 3 and I had read it was a difficult day for most but was not so bad for me.

The biggest issue I dealt with was aches in my joints and, again, my lower back plus my upper back.

At about 9 p.m last night my knee, ankle, hip and wrists joints were sore and I had to stretch and move to try to lesson the pain.  It wasn't unbearable but imagine it to be what arthritis might feel like.

I read more about the effects of the cleanse and it does state the following:

The cleanse helps to "eliminate all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles", as a result of, "calcium deposits in the joints, muscles, cells and body which are readily dissolved and removed from the body." 

It also notes that, "increased pain may be felt in the various joints of the body."

Okay, reading that made me feel better!  I was a bit restless last night due to the aches but feel fine this morning.

Tongue:  still pasty white

Throat & Ear:  glands not swollen, symptoms lessening

Skin: improving daily.  My face it clear and soft!  Yeah!  Also, my eczema patches are disappearing.  :)

Eyes:  bright and clear

I did the salt water rinse again this morning. Not too horrible.  45 minutes later I had 4 'eliminations'  There is still solid waste being eliminated so that is a good sign.

I drank a cup of senna leaf tea this morning and it has had a very good laxative effect (2 more BMs).

Overall, I feel really quite normal.  I still don't have cravings for any food except for steamed broccoli I made for my kids last night.  At least I wasn't craving the burgers and ice cream they also ate! :)

I still enjoy drinking the lemonade mixture and used 2 Tbsp. less maple syrup today. 

Weight change: 0 (still 134)  *  I expect to be down at least 1 more pound tomorrow.

That's it for now.  More updates tomorrow! :)

So, yesterday had both positive and negative effects.

Around 1 pm after I had consumed 3 cups of the lemonade and 1 cup of senna leaf tea, I felt very cold went outside to warm up and felt nauseous.  I had diarrhea BM then drank 2 glasses of spring water.  I started to feel better within half an hour.  The key for me, then, is to drink 1 cup of lemonade followed by 1 cup of spring water and repeat this pattern throughout the day.

I wasn't ever hungry yesterday and overall I think I was 'okay' but co-workers thought I was a bit sluggish. 

The pasty white tongue is annoying but a positive sign that my body is detoxing.  I just brush my teeth more often, use a tongue scraper followed my mouthwash. :)

I slept off and on last night.  Again, waking up at 3:30 and tossing and turning.  It wasn't hunger pangs that kept me awake but I was suffering from lower backache last night.  I read on a Master Cleanse message board that lower backache/pain is a common sign of detox as part of the kidneys detoxing.  Interesting.  I never have any back pain so I associate this as a sign of detox to be true in my case.

I still have swollen glands but know this is normal detox for me.

Today I started the day with the salt water rinse (SWR).  A tip from a friend suggested that I drink it with my nose plugged.  It was much easier to tolerate and I was able to chug the whole amount down without gagging.  I didn't even feel sick afterwards and within the hour I had 3 BMs.  I notice they are bright yellow in colour and also read on the message board that the yellow is bile build up eliminating from the liver ( yuck!).

Today I feel good but not bounding with energy at this point.  I no longer have a headache but still the lower backache.

Weight Change:  - 1 (134 lbs now)

I really think I can keep this up for the 10 days and, if I am still showing signs of detox, I may stay on it for a few more days. :)

I almost forgot.  I have some obvious detox symptoms to report.

My throat was sore yesterday and continues to feel sore when I swallow.  My left glad in noticeably swollen which might be the reason why my left ear is slightly sore when I swallow.  It's nothing major but just wanted to document it.

My tongue was pasty white this morning.  The gunge left on it was foul and even after brushing my teeth and tongue scraping it is still white and have an odd filmy texture to it.  I was expecting this as I had heard from other former-cleansers that this is part of the detox process.

So, here's the update since yesterday.

I finished drinking the lemonade around 6 pm.  It put to much cayenne so it was pretty spicy.

I had a headache from 4 pm on which is probably due mostly to caffeine withdrawal.  Didn't feel hungry, though.

I drank about 7 glasses of distilled water in addition to my 2 litres of lemonade.

At 8 pm I drank the saline rinse which is supposed to be 1 litre of warm water with 2 tsp. of sea salt.  I screwed up and mixed 1 TBSP of salt in 1/2 a litre, thinking I would drink another round afterwards.  Well, obviously it was WAY too salty and I almost gagged on the last gulp.

Shortly thereafter I began to feel nauseous and still had the headache.  It wasn't good.  Then, 30 minutes later I had to rush to the bathroom and had an explosive BM.  I still felt lousy after and prepared to get to bed.  About 5 bathroom trips of the same but not as much 'volume' followed.  It's like peeing though your butt (sorry for the description but I know I'll want to remember the icky details should I choose to go through this again).

I made a cup of the senna leaf tea and rested in bed.  Since the tea causes mild cramping, I needed to rush to the toilet another 3 times then fell asleep.

I was sleepless from about 2 a.m. to 5 a.m.  I wasn't hungry but did need to use the toilet again!

When I woke up late and had another mild BP (read 'butt pee').

Not really hungry when I woke up but a bit groggy (due to lost sleep).

I decided to drink Bentonite clay w/ground flaxseed in water before leaving for work (1 Tbsp. each clay & flaxseed).  That will help pull the toxins out from the colon.

About 1/3 through the lemonade so far.  I really enjoy it!  I also had a cup of senna leaf tea and so far just very little BP and lots of regular peeing.

Weight change:  - 2 lbs (now at 135 lbs).

:)

Today is the start of my first Master Cleanse. 

The potion I drink everyday for the next 10 (and possibly a couple more) days is:

12 Tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice
12 Tbsp pure organic Grade B maple syrup
dash of cayenne pepper
spring water

All mixed in a 2 litre container.

Also,  I will drink a glass of sea salted water tonight and then senna leaf tea, both of which have 'laxative' effects on the body (hence, that's why I take them at night , close to the home toilet!).

I feel a bit tired today.  Not a lot of sleep on the weekend plus I ate crackers and cheese yesterday which doesn't make me feel energetic.

I was 137 lbs. this morning.  Had 1 BM this morning (soft and medium).  Constipated now but peeing like crazy!  Combo of plain water plus the juice. Just consumed over half days' worth of juice.  It's working out okay.

More details tomorrow!

After 3 days at 135 lbs, I am now down a pound. :)

Still feeling strong and focused even though I find myself contemplating something sweet.  It's not a craving for sweets but rather, a consideration.  It's as if my previous memories are trying to get me to re-visit how wonderful the taste of chocolate is.  I'm not buying in, though!  It doesn't further my goal.  It's just a trick to tempt me back to bad habits, an unhealthy lifestyle and failure.

I am probably going to do the Master Cleanse on Monday.  It's 10 days of lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper added to 64 oz. of water and consumed throughout the day.  After the tenth day there are 3 days of easing off the cleanse and back to whole foods.  I have never done a cleanser this specific before.  I generally clean up my diet and cleanse with detox and food.  This is exciting!  I'll be buying lemons by the case-load this weekend!

Ciao! :)

Well, I am feeling strong, grounded and pure.

I ate a little more yesterday and had a homemade dessert but I still feel empowered and on track.

Reactions to the sugar yesterday had my skin (eczema) break out.  I realize how sensitive I am to sugar; even organic, unrefined sugar. :(  It's  good thing, really.  My body acknowledges that it's just not good enough for me!

Also, I had cramps last night after eating.  I didn't feel overly full after dinner, but eating beyond 500 calories was more than my digestive system could handle.  The peppermint tea helped as did water, so I am right as rain today!

Have leftover grilled veggies, quinoa and chicken today.  Will only eat half.  Had detox tea this morning and having coffee now.

I am thinking about doing a cleanse later this month.  My friend has done it before and it might be a good thing to try.  It's basically a 10 day fast of lemon juice, maple syrup and water.  Hmmmm .... not sure I want to ingest the maple syrup given my sensitivity to sugar but maybe I can substitute with fresh grapefruit juice instead (?).  More on that at a later date.

Still at 135 today and looking to be 133 by end of week. :)

Hey, I've done REALLY  WELL all weekend. :)

I am down to 135 gain (lost 3 pounds since yesterday) but I've been tired.

My calories have been under 500 for the past 3 days and my cravings for junk food are gone.

I worked out today (some weights) and was weak but it felt good to keep my muscles working.

Tonight I have another peroformance of the play festival I am in.  The outdoor scenes will be chilly.  It's bloody cold here today.  It was supposed to be warm and sunny but this foul weather put me off and had my napping on the couch all afternoon.   Oh, well.  At least I didn't binge. :)

Off to get ready for the stage!

Ciao!!!!

Well, I am back on track.  :)

I really believe in myself.  I am a STRONG WOMAN!

It's Friday and usually I get a bit anxious when the weekend approaches.  So much time at the house.  I am fine at work.  I eat little food and only healthy stuff.  Restricting seems easier at work.  It's because I am familiar with my routine and don't question it.  I never binge at work, never have.

At home, I had the past habits of bingeing and still feel tempted to.  Establishing a safe routine at the house is my challenge and I know it's just a matter of setting it in stone.

I am happy that for the next 9 days I will be performing in a play at nights so I won't be in the house :). 

Also, I have been reading The Secret and am focusing on wealth and thinness.  Already I have re-vamped my budget, consolidated my debts and am tracking every cent I spend each day in a notebook. (yeah for me!)

Goals this weekend:

* Stick to grocery budget - think frugal!

* Exercise every day (min. 40 minutes cardio + light weights 2 days) - push myself!

* EAT HEALTHY :) - my reward, my desire!

* Maximum daily calories = 600 (aim for 450) - super easy!

* DRINK HERBAL TEA @ NIGHT :) - it's my treat & ritual!

This weekend is going to be a breeze.  I am in CONTROL.  I am EXCITED about being skinny!

RESTRICT = CONTROL = THIN = POWER = HAPPY! :)

I cannot believe I let myself go MIA for 9 days!!!!

Only I suffer the consequences.  Nobody else cares.  No one else gets fat.  No other person gets depressed because of it.

I am NOT giving up.

I AM A SURVIVOR!!!

I WILL BE SKINNY!!!

I BELIEVE I WILL REACH MY GOALS!!!

For all of you who suffer the insecurities, lack the love, never measure up, beat yourself up, can't pick yourself up .......  I am praying for you and will lift you up with me. :)

My mind is peaceful.  I came to work with forgiveness and my anger has been released. 

Although it did feel good to vent, it's not what I am about.  I have to realize that if I am not happy in a situation, then I have the power to change it.  It's no one else's fault but my own if I end up dissatisfied in life.  Life is not fair and I know this fact.  Sometimes it's just tough to accept it.

I have moved forward accepting reality and taking steps on how to change my situation positively.  I have always been a survivor and I manage to keep doing so in life.  I do what I need to do in order to keep my family safe and secure and now is no different.  It helps if I can act smarter and educate myself on what I need financially.  Learning how to get subsidized programs for my kids is what I am working on now.  Finding more creative, fulfilling and lucrative means of income has also become my mission.

On the food front, I had a pretty strong weekend.  I ate fairly well 80% of the time and I exercised hard.  I acknowledge that my outlook has really changed.  I am in a zone of not relying on food for comfort.  In fact, the opposite is true.  When I ate too much on the weekend at a dinner, I was literally sick to my stomach.  My body rejected it and it was involuntary purging but it's great to know that being empty is my new state of comfort.  I listen to my body and it tells me, "No thanks.  We don't want it or need it!"

Strength comes from moving beyond our limitations.

I just have to let this out.

Trust and integrity is something that is very important to me.  When I find that I have been betrayed by people I have trusted, with whom I care for and would protect, then I am very disillusioned and hurt. 

Am I too trusting?

Am I a poor judge or character?

What the fuck???

Protect one's self at all times.  NEVER let your guard down!  Those who seem the kindest are usually the most evil. 

Beware the lamb in sheep's clothing!!!

I am aware NOW!  I will NEVER, EVER, EVER let someone fuck me over again.

I despise weasals who use others to make themselves look good.  I detest bull shitters who are fucking lazy ass losers.  I can't stand cheaters and two-faced liars. 

KARMA.

That's what they have to deal with.  The result of their own actions.

Don't even TRY to prepare yourself.  You've told so many fucking lies you can't even see straight.

Enjoy what you have reaped.  It's be hell!

Wow.

How could I let Sunday slip away like that? 

I sat at the bakery thinking I could handle a slice of raisin bread.  How quickly I slipped into a carb-coma!  I couldn't drag myself up from the lawn chair.  And just a day before I had SO much energy!  I made so much use of every moment and I still had energy to spare. 

Not this day.

What's worse is that I let the whole day completely slip from my grip. I ate more crap and just shoved it into my mouth.  I know it was the wrong reaction but I let it happen.

Here is how I felt yesterday:

- cranky
- lethargic
- drugged
- depressed
- bitchy
- bloated
- crampy
- nauseous
- FAT
- ugly
- defeated
- thirsty
- unsatisfied
- headache-y
- weak
- sore

I recognize that this carb thing is more serious than I thought.  The allergic reaction is painful, immobilizing and not 'normal'.  It's a dangerous thing for me to take lightly.  I need to be fully aware that my reactions to wheat,/gluten and dairy (that shitty Dairy Queen Blizzard wrecked me!).  It's not a joke.  It's like an alcoholic deciding it's just fine to have a drink once in a while.  Well, it's NOT okay.

I am addicted and allergic to wheat, sugar and diary.

I accept that.  I will respect my limitations and protect myself.